Saturday, October 4, 2008

Vita Brevis

"Life is so short!" I read this phrase many times while reading Jostein Gaardner's novel in between cramming sessions for work/ MA. I read Augustine's Confessions about the same time last year, and reading Gaardner's companion novel (purportedly a letter to Augustine from his concubine, Floria) was like reading the Bishop of Hippo's autobiography again, only this time, through more critical eyes.

While I am trying my best to live up to my Christian/Catholic beliefs, I still do not concur with the extreme views that some fellow Christians seem to hold on to. I do not mean any offense against them, I am merely voicing out my own personal beliefs when I say that while I acknowledge that True Joy cannot be found here on earth, I do not believe that it is a sin to find happiness in things like spending quality time with one's family (never mind if it entails watching a movie with some violent scenes... something that would be frowned upon by a few). Balance, I think, is the key. While we must take care not to mistake the good for what is best, we do not sin by taking pleasure in worshipping God by appreciating His Creations. Despising this life, the one He has given us... isn't it a sin of ingratitude?

Floria, the book's narrator, said it best: "We should not try to live as something other than what we are. Would that not be to mock God? We are human beings, Aurel. We must first live, and then -- yes, then we can philosophize." (Context: Augustine loved this women deeply, and even had a son with her, but he left her because he believed that loving this woman was threatening to take over his love for God, and therefore damning his soul)

Augustine was a great man, yet at the end of it all, he was just... a man, frail and weak like the rest of us. In his weakness, he blamed his beloved for his shortcomings... unrightfully so.

~ ~ ~

"Life is so short!" I had a greater appreciation of this in the past week, when I attended the birthday celebration of our beloved arnis teacher, Sir Bot Jocano. I still remember his birthday LAST year, and the speed with which time seemed to pass was a blink of an eye.

A year later, our little organization has grown. Some old members left, but new ones have replaced them. I was happy to have the chance to meet the newbies, and even got to see old familiar faces. I foresee great things for this merry band of stick-toting academics/artists... wonderful people, all.

"Life is so short!"

Never mind that my to-do list is a mile long. I grabbed the chance to have dinner with a couple of friends Thursday evening, after work.

"Life is so short!" It is too short to waste time getting stressed over a finals exam that I have not the time to sufficiently prepare for. (Aside: By some twist of fate, I had no choice but to enroll in the hardest subject for my MA... Ed 202, Statistics for Teachers. I only found out that this was "THE" terror subject a couple of weeks ago. No wonder I've been mentally pummelled, it seems, all throughout this past sem!)

Life is too short to waste time ranting about the fact that I had to spend Saturday afternoon cramming MA papers that are due next week, instead of going to the CCP to watch "La Boheme." (I'll make up for it by watching POC's THE MASTER CLASS instead)

Life is too short, and each experience is precious, each day is a gift. May we all embrace Life, its joys and tribulations, its trials and torments, its beauty and its brevity, with the gratitude and wonder of a little child opening his present on Christmas Day.

(Speaking of Christmas, it's just around the corner!!!! And so is the sem break!!!!! *cartwheel* )

10 comments:

  1. =( Was this because of what happened in Rome, towards the end of the book?

    I felt more angry than sad... I was angry on Floria's behalf. Gr. My war freak side is showing.

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  2. You're scaring me. hehe =P Hmmm... I was sad all throughout the book, Gabi. Although it was very wrong of him to treat her violently, I believe that somehow there was a lack of understanding on both Augustine and Floria's side.

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  3. Christmas!!! how fast time flies, the year already at its end. wow

    -> "Despising this life, the one He has given us... isn't it a sin of ingratitude?"

    yes, we should enjoy His gifts, always remembering the Giver at the same time. :)

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  4. i just sang awhile ago in tagaytay for my lola's 80 birthday. the whole villegas family was there. it was one of the happiest experiences ever. then there's a bunch of exams going on this week, something we should be cramming for. but i guess we know what to live for now dont we?

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  5. Wow, speaking of 'happiness,' Trish and I always felt this was denied us because of what happened to our family, and such feelings are even highlighted during times like Christmas; for years we have tried to make Christmas joyful for us.....my daughter and I struggling to be happy.....we feel frustrated at Christmas, but we don't know why...we still have the old tree, and the old decorating stuff; we try to make puns and jokes, watch Christmas specials, play Christmas carol recordings, go to the mall (despite its superficial celebratory modes of commercial distractions), greet people, smile a lot, but deep within is the void.....I am so afraid that as life is really short, I may never know what 'happiness' really means

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  6. Yup yup... therein lies the difference between LIVING and EXISTING.

    :) Apir tayo Keith. Family first, always.

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  7. I like how you reacted with a "Wow." :)

    May there never come a time when we face greeting a new year with apprehension or dread at getting older.

    Like they say, "getting older" is all in the mind. I like to think of it as "gaining wisdom."

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  8. Sir my heart aches for you and Trish, but may I say that I think you are both very fortunate to have one another. Or rather, I think Trish is very lucky to have a father such as yourself. :)

    I agree with you about the superficial commercial celebrations... they say that there is a difference between joy and happiness. The search for happiness has been bastardized by the modern "mall" phenomenon... we are being brainwashed by all these ads to think that we will finally be happy "with that next purchase..."

    I think it is far better to seek Joy, which is a deeper experience. I believe that it is possible to be joyful even under the direst of circumstances, when we believe that we are never alone in our struggles... that there is Someone Up There orchestrating all events, both "good" and "bad"... but ALWAYS for our benefit. I heard from some wise men that "joy is a choice," and I believe this to be true. It is something I am finding difficult to do, but I am trying to live it out everyday. Let's do it together, Sir! :)

    *when will you be back po?*

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  9. thanks so much for your reply, Gabi, I must apologize though for being carried away with my quagmire, and being too personal. Yes, perhaps there is a mile of a difference between 'happines' and 'joy;' one that is beyond mere semantics. Yes, perhaps, if there is a force, a Universe, or some say a 'God" that (as you put it) 'orchestrates' or to me even 'composes' all events, If this is so, his work on me is what the Germans would call Geräuschmusik ['noise music']...full of disjunture and non-coherences. In my musical aesthetics, this is beautiful and deep..and that is how I compose. perhaps yes, there might be beauty in the disjuncture and messiness of my life that I could only see it eventually when I am "out of it;" like one seeing the routes to labyrinth "from above" and not while one is in it. That is the main reason why I invented "ripieno a priori" in the first place. To go out of myself. We can talk more.....Thanks so much.

    Oh, we will be back by the 15th of November. So much to catch up on. If you have time, please watch the performance of the BANWA for the UPCMu concert on November 7/8......(I keep inviting people to see this, rather than look at how ugly and dark I am as a person) this work is the "real" me, and the 100 Iron-nail "peace chimes" that would be played by the audience is my "soul"

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