Thursday, January 3, 2008

The Obligatory New Year Post

A lot's been happening these past few days. I don't really want to elaborate, but let's just say I feel like a rubber band that's being stretched to its limit (emotionally AND physically). I don't know if this particular band will snap or if it will go back to a roundish shape (though definitely, no longer the same).

And since I'm fresh from reading on Erik Erikson's fascinating psychosocial stages (EDCO 101, great subject as an elective!), I'll use his theory as a basic framework for this "the-year-that-was" list.

1. Trust vs. Mistrust: If 2006 was the year I experienced Betrayal, my experiences in 2007 taught me that there are still so many wonderful people in the world. My faith in humanity has been restored, my original optimistic nature along with it. I am thankful for new friends in the arnis club, in my college, and I hope that these relationships will last even after I graduate from UP. :) These new friends have made a huge impact in my life already, even within our short acquaintance. I can say I'm a better person for having met them.

2007 was also the year that I learned (the hard way) to trust myself less and trust in Him more. I can say that this is the biggest life lesson I've learned this year.

2. Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt: 2007's allowed me more opportunities to "spread my wings," though not as many as I'd like. Still, I can now proudly say that I've been to a mall all by my lonesome for several hours, and loved every minute of it! Haha. (Don't snicker... it's quite a big thing for me.)

I thought it would be scary... but it wasn't. I became intimately acquainted with said mall's layout, its bookstores, and enjoyed a hearty lunch while people-watching.

Thankfully, not that many "shameful" moments. Though I still think I need to work on my recitation skills. A lot of times I miss out on scoring pogi points with the prof.when he asks a question, and I THINK I know the answer but I decide to err on the side of caution instead of blurting it straight out. Then I get to find out that I was right after all. Sayang. I'm scared of making mistakes. Overly so. I must be more outgoing this 2008.

Oh yes, I DID get a good dose of healthy shame in October. A mirror was held up to me, exposing my flaws and sins. It's "healthy" because, when I look back to that night, I am renewed in my commitment to live a better life, for His sake.

3. Identity vs. Role Confusion: 2007's experiences clarified a lot of things for me, like the fact that I enjoy BOTH performing and teaching and would be perfectly happy doing both, though I feel that teaching would be infinitely more fulfilling in the long run. And I believe that our country needs teachers more than it does performers, in my chosen field.

4. Intimacy vs. Isolation: Early in 2007, there was this boy... well, nothing came out of it (and good thing, too!). I'm only glad that God protected my heart from being bruised too badly.

Isolation isn't such a bad thing. In 2007 I discovered just how much I enjoy being alone. :D Haha. Loner!!!!

Happy New Year everyone!

9 comments:

  1. awww, how inspiring ate gabi. i should reflect on the past year also. and i need to be more outgoing also! gotta get out of my comfort zone!

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  2. Aw Mika, thank you... although I didn't expect that anyone would find my "rant-ish" post inspiring. Haha. Yeah... here's to 2008 seeing our more adventurous side! Go lang ng go!

    P.S. Please text me Sunday night to bring the dvd of COPYING BEETHOVEN to school, as a reminder. :) Have a great weekend!

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  3. i didn't find it rant-ish at all! for some reason, i'm inspired by people who actually stop and reflect. it gives me hope for humanity. haha

    ok, i hope i remember to text you! thanks! :)

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  4. "i'm inspired by people who actually stop and reflect" ----> Me too!

    Actually, if I could have one wish granted, it would be to have MORE TIME. Schoolwork can occupy almost all of our waking hours. I wish we could all have more time to stop and reflect... on an everyday basis. Our lives would have more direction... and we'd appreciate each day more, no?

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  5. gabi, lighten up. its a fresh year...fresh start, as they say...things may turn out different this time around...Ü

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  6. Haha Hi Maxine dear!! :) Happy New Year! Haha don't worry I'm not depressed or anything. Just in a contemplative mood. :p But thanks for the concern

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  7. i agree!!! there are so many important things we can't realize in the midst of daily activities. and so many subtle beauties in each day that won't be noticed unless we stop and reflect. more time!

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  8. rubber band. naalala ko agad yung ZPD. hehe. ganda ng post mo gabe. :-)

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  9. Aw, thanks Feon!! ;) Thank you rin for explaining ZPD to me. I'm so happy we're taking EDCO together!!! Feel ko para tayong nasa extended retreat / getting-to-know-yourself seminar, hehe.

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