Beauty and the Beast

Image taken from here

The modern woman is expected to be capable of so many things... she's supposed to be a successful career woman and at the same time an excellent mother/wife/daughter, a veritable engine of efficiency both at the office and at home. She's supposed to be ruthless and fearless at work, then all sweetness and light for her family. Sugar and spice. Beauty and the Beast.

My job as a teacher is challenging because it also requires that I be two (and sometimes three or four!) different people, depending on whom I'm teaching. When I'm with my preschool advisory class, I am all "Beauty," always smiling and cooing at my little wards... my better self. But when they're dismissed, I don my version of "The Beast" as I meet my high school students and reprimand those who don't do their homework on a daily basis.

Sadly, when I get home exhausted after a long day's work, I find myself emptied of almost all goodness, too tired to summon the energy to go out and romp with our pet dogs, and too exhausted to read all those books and journal articles for my thesis... and quite often prone to snarling and snapping at my family during dinner. :(

In short, I leave the house as Beauty and return as the Beast.

I suppose I'm not the only person who's struggling with this juggling act called Life. And that is why I find it essential to write down, at the end of each day, at least five blessings that I was gifted with in the course of a hectic day. I find that, even during the "worst" days, I always find more than five things to be grateful for! :)

Ask any teacher, and they'll tell you that a single week in the school year is a rollercoaster ride of emotions. This past week hasn't been different. The biggest struggle for me is how to find time to get most of it down on paper, so I can process each event and learn from it!

This week, I'm grateful for:

1. P45.00 steals from Booksale (including an audio book of Frank McCourt's Teacher Man, narrated by the author himself!!)

2. Shakey's Thin Crust Party Size Pepperoni Pizza, best shared with my oh-so-"matakaw" siblings

3. RMM Glee (Club) rehearsals. There's nothing quite like singing as part of a group and making beautiful music together... being a part of something bigger than yourself!

4. an important lesson in humility and compassion, taught to me by one of our school's best pupils

5. Starbucks Venti Dark Mocha Frappucino... deadly on the paunch but heavenly for the palate and soul!

I find that as I enumerate the blessings of the past week, my aura has become brighter, happier! Truly, feeling joyful is a matter of choice. And when a face is filled with a sincere smile, no matter how "homely," it becomes beautiful as it reflects a miniscule portion of the radiance of God!

Let's all have a joyfully beautiful week ahead!

Looking Forward to Number Four!

I've always loved the number four, though I don't really know why. My class number has always been a multiple of four... usually its square (sixteen). My nickname's got four letters. Growing up, my favorite books had four amazing sisters (Little Women and The Little House On A Prairie series).

The fact that it's my fourth year of teaching that's coming up... well, I'm excited! :) I'm no longer a greenhorn, and this is the first school year that I'll be re-teaching subjects that I've previously taught. Which means I have the benefit of 20/20 hindsight and will hopefully teach these subjects better than in the previous years.

The new challenge for me this year is the dreaded six-letter word, the Word That Must Not Be Named... T.H.E.S.I.S.

It's extra challenging for me because this is the first time I'll be writing one... you see, my Music undergrad.didn't require thesis-writing. I "only" had to sing in four recitals in consecutive semesters (the last one being an opera, whew!).

I'm hoping and praying that, if my thesis topic gets approved, I can pursue this subject that merges my loves: Teaching Preschoolers, Kodály, and Music!

I'm also looking forward to seeing more of my beloved brother, who'll be joining us this year as a practicum teacher. Yay!

This video captures the excitement I feel whenever I'm about to start a new school year! :)

Must sleep early tonight... for tomorrow until March, I'll be waking up at 4:30 every morning!

The New Year

   In 51 hours, I will be standing in front of a new class of freshmen music majors, starting my third year of teaching.

   In a week, I'll be doing the same for my very own preschool advisory class. The familiar faces of my old high school/ grade school students will greet me as I walk down the hallway, only they will be much much taller after only two months of summer! And I will be shocked at how some of them will have to peer down to speak to me.

   Ask any teacher, and they'll tell you that for them, the New Year starts not in January, but in June. There is that powerful sense of expectation, of rebirth, of regeneration... and it comes not with the fireworks and half-devoured quezo de bolas, but with the smell of freshly sharpened pencils, the crackling sound of brand new notebooks and textbooks, the echo of students' laughter in the hallway. For the UP College of Music, it starts with the strains of Westlife, The Corrs and Alicia Keys heard in the corridor, outside the classrooms where students congregate, jamming to non-classical music while waiting for their professor to meet them for the first time (the chance of which is something like 1 is to 4, haha!).

   I look back on the past two months of easier living, on the mornings where I had time to savor my cup of (decaf) coffee while listening to Mozart or Renaissance polyphonic music on YouTube, and am glad.

    In the 10 months to come, I shall say goodbye to one hour more of sleep, one more novel read during weekends... but shall have the ineffable joy of interacting with hearts and minds so different from my own, which shall become as dear as my own... and truly, no amount of R&R can compete with that.  :)

    Ah... the life of a Teacher. There is nothing quite like it!

A Repost of Fr. James Reuter's Article on the Philippine Star (March 2009): "Graduation"

The graduations begin, now. Some students get medals: bronze, silver, gold.

Some students do not get any medals. . . . Some are not allowed to march. . . . Some are not allowed to graduate.

It is really a time of joy and sorrow, a time of laughter and tears, an emotional time.

Education is the complete and harmonious development of all the physical, mental, and moral faculties of man. The end product, at graduation, is not the medal, or even the diploma. It is the boy, standing on his own two feet. it is the girl, coming down the aisle with her diploma, to kiss her daddy.

Every teacher who has ever gone into a classroom knows that the best boy in the class, the best girl, is not necessarily the one who gets the gold medal for academics.

There might be a girl in the class who has many friends. She loves everybody, and everyone loves her. When they need something, they come to her, because they know that she will give. . . . There is no mark for that.

There might be a girl who is selfish as sin, who has no friends. No one comes to her, when they are in need, because they know that she will not help anyone. . . . there is no mark for that.

There might be a boy who is a natural leader. He has a sense of humor, and courage; he likes his family; he likes the school; he is at peace with God, with his friends, with himself. . . . there is no mark for that.

Another boy might be all mixed up. He hates his father. He hates the teachers. He is planning to kill himself, tonight. . . . There is no mark for that.

We give the marks for mathematics, for English, for history, for physics, for chemistry, for biology — but there are other sides to a boy, and to a girl.

At this graduation, the end product is not the medal. It is not even the diploma. It is your son. It is your daughter.

If he has learned to be a man, if she has learned to be a woman, that’s enough.

That’s a superlative, already.

What teachers make

This beautiful story came to me from the son of my staff through the internet.

The dinner guests were sitting around the table discussing life. One man, a CEO, decided to explain the problem with the education. He argued, “What’s a kid going to learn from someone who decided his best option in life was to become a teacher?”

He reminded the other dinner guests what they say about teachers: “Those who can, do. Those who can’t, teach.” To stress his point he said to another guest, “You’re a teacher, Bonnie, be honest. What do you make?”

Bonnie, who had a reputation for honesty and frankness replied, “You want to know what I make?”

“Well, I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could.

I make a C+ feel like the Congressional Medal of Honor. I make kids sit through 40 minutes of class time when their parents can’t make them sit for 5 without an iPod, Game Cube or movie rental. . . . .

You want to know what I make?

I make kids wonder. I make them question. I make them apologize and mean it. I make them have respect and take responsibility for their actions.

I teach them to write and then I make them write. Keyboarding isn’t everything. I make them read, read, read.

I make them show all their work in math. They use their God given brain, not the man-made calculator.

I make my students from other countries learn everything they need to know English while preserving their unique cultural identity.

I make my classroom a place where all my students feel safe.

Finally, I make them understand that if they use the gifts they were given, work hard, and follow their hearts, they can succeed in life.

Then, when people try to judge me by what I make, with me knowing money isn’t everything, I can hold my head up high and pay no attention because they are ignorant. . . . You want to know what I make?

I make a difference. What do you make Mr. CEO?”

"The Crazy Teacher" from the Philippine Star

The crazy teacher  LESSONS PLANNED from the teacher's pen By CRISELDA SAN (The Philippine Star) Updated June 18, 2009 12:00 AM

Some say teaching is a vocation. My view, however, is that teaching is a sign of mental illness. Yes, teachers are all insane. Why else would they stick with a job that pays so little? Surely they could get other more profitable jobs but they choose to stay in the teaching profession. Crazier still, there are some who take money from what little they get and spend it on their students!

Another tell-tale sign of teachers’ mental illness is multiple personality disorder. The tough as nails, tiger-on-the-prowl type of teacher turns into the person who writes a comforting note to a student. Quick as a flash, the iron fist that maintains order becomes the gentle, sympathetic hand on a dejected student’s shoulder. On a daily basis, the teacher weaves in and out of various roles. Teachers change at a rate that would make a chameleon’s head spin. Why? To become what their students need. “I am a cheerleader because you need to know that someone has faith in you.” “I am a dancer, singer, and artist because you need to know that your learning is worth my effort.” “I am a comedian because you need to know that having a good sense of humor is as essential to our survival as breathing.” “I am a keeper of the peace because all this fighting hurts you.” “I’m a General because you need to know that discipline and order are important if you want to succeed.” A teacher is, as can plainly be seen, never “just” a teacher. 

Another sign of craziness is the fact that teachers suffer hallucinations. Although the child before them may be as standoffish and lazy as children come, the teacher doesn’t see that. Instead, the teacher sees an upstanding and likable person who just needs a little more help along the way. That vision is what keeps the teacher coming back to the classroom everyday, instead of running to the hills, screaming. These hallucinations are so powerful, in fact, that some people spend an entire lifetime dedicated to teaching. They remain teachers despite the perils of the job. What are these perils? Well, a small salary is a small matter compared to the other things that lie in store: mountains of paperwork, occasional attacks from irate parents, and students who carry their weapons of mass DIS-truction (disinterest in the subject and disdain for the person teaching it). Why do teachers put up with all of this? Because they believe that somehow, at some point in the future, the hallucinations will become reality. Someday, Student A is going to be an honest and honorable politician. Someday, Student B will help provide other people with good jobs and brighter futures. Student C will finally bring peace to Mindanao. On and on it goes.

I’m entering my seventh year of teaching. I know I’m crazy. But I also know this: the world we live in seems even crazier. People, when faced with failure, turn to violence instead of trying to turn their lives around. Society builds a pedestal and places profit upon it. And if that pedestal is built on the backs of others, crushing them and driving them six feet under, then that’s just how it goes. Who are these people who do such terrible things? Well, they are just that — people. Not monsters. And that’s what makes what they do even more horrific.

I keep that in mind everyday that I am in the classroom. I know that years from now, when my students have stepped out into the real world, they too are capable of doing horrific things. But I also know something else. And I remain a teacher because I choose to believe it: my students are equally capable of choosing not to do these things, even if doing them would be easier or more profitable. They are capable of using their intelligence and, more importantly, their character to grab hold of this runaway carriage we’re trapped in. My students are wise enough to know the right path. And they are strong enough to lead us there. These are the things that I believe. 

It is my duty to teach my students well enough so that they may believe these things too.It’s true that teaching is often backbreaking and thankless. It would make much more sense to get a job that demands less and pays more. But I’m going to continue teaching anyway. I choose to stay crazy. Because as I see it, it’s the only way to get some sanity back into this world.

CRISELDA SAN teaches Composition at PAREF Woodrose School.

My Second Year of Teaching

     A new academic year is starting, and I am so excited/nervous! My lesson plan notebook lies on top of our Principal’s desk, beautifully decorated with a gorgeous blue and white floral paper print (wrapped in plastic, of course). My class rules are carefully written down on yellow pad paper, which will serve as my “kodigo” of sorts as I meet up with my new students. My posters for my extra-curricular offerings (namely, basic arnis and piano lessons) are cheerfully posted in strategic locations around the small school. My brand new white pen markers and board erasers have been lovingly placed in a huge white box which will also house extra ballpens (to be lent to students in cases of emergency... why fight the inevitable?) and even has space for papers with assignments and quizzes. Ah... the life of a teacher. J

      I have “survived” my first year of teaching, and am about to embark on my second. Although the first year hasn’t been easy, it was a LOT of fun! I learned so many things along the way, and thanks to this amazing book (“The First Days of School” by Harry and Rosemary Wong), I’ve picked up lots of classroom management tips that I will implement this school year. Hopefully,  it will make me a more effective teacher and will lessen the pressure that comes along with the job.

      I will be handling the following: All the high school Music classes, Asian Civilization for high school sophomores, Casa/Kindergartan (Assisting Teacher), Speech and Drama (an elective for high school sophomores), and the Theater Club, with Choir, Basic Arnis, and Piano Lessons on the side.

      *super duper excited*

      I was reading this short but excellent book, “Letter to A Young Teacher” by Joseph V. Landy, S.J. I especially liked his post script, wherein he quoted from the Robert Bolt play on the life of Sir Thomas More, A Man For All Seasons.

      More: Why not be a teacher? You’d be a fine teacher. Perhaps even a great one.

Rich: And if I was, who would know it?

More: You, your pupils, your friends, God. Not a bad public, that... Oh, and a quiet life.

Father Landy goes on:

“For the best part of being a teacher is that it is more than just another job. It is almost a sacred calling. All teachers are called, not only to instruct pupils in their subject... but to be good influences on them...

Look back on your own school days. Remember how much you looked up to your teachers for guidance and inspiration? Those who taught us in college we remember mostly for what they did to our minds. But those who taught us in primary and secondary school made their mark on our characters, our ways of thinking about life, our ambitions, our immortal souls.

... To all young teachers who read these pages. Remember what you have been called to. Your power for good is enormous. Although quiet, unknown, and far from the eyes of would-be important people, your life as a teacher is very important in the eyes of God. Stay always aware that those eyes are on you, and you’ll be a fine teacher. Perhaps even a great one.”

I remember, Father. I remember. And with His help, I will someday be worthy of being called “Teacher Gabi.”

Now... I MUST practice getting up at 4:30 tomorrow morning, as this will be the time I have to wake up everyday for the next 9 months!! :) 

A Reflection Paper I submitted for EDCO 101

         There are some movies whose stories stay with you for a long time after seeing them. Munting Tinig (Small Voices) is such a film. It was not a big-budget production, nor did it have amazing special effects associated with Hollywood films that audiences line up for in the cinema. And yet it reaped accolades and awards galore when it was shown in film festivals abroad. Why was this so?

I am no film critic, but in my opinion it couldn’t have been because of the acting (the actors were above average but not Meryl Streep material), nor the directing (some parts were a little boring and more than a few would have said the movie tended to drag a bit), not even the music (being a Music major, I detected some “anomalies,” but I am not here to criticize).

Why? Why did this humble film project touch so many people, and is now being considered as a Filipino modern classic?

It is because of the STORY. Others would say it was formulaic and predictable. So what? Seeing it unfold before me was still an experience to treasure, to immerse myself if only for an hour and a half in the world of a public school teacher working in a tiny village school in a far-flung rural area.

The movie touched on several issues. I shall tackle a few one by one and comment on them separately.

“Only the intellectually inferior become teachers.” This is a common attitude found amongst even fellow UP students. And the sad thing is, certain Education majors themselves think this way! I’ve talked to a couple of Education majors, and when I asked, “Why take Education?” The common reply was: “This was the only course I could take, I didn’t pass my first couple of choices in the UPCAT. And I’m not very good in anything else.” This is a terrible, terrible thing… to demoralize oneself in this manner. They do not see that they are in a most precious vocation.

When you ask people from one or two generations ago, you will find that only the best and the brightest became teachers in the good old days. And teachers of old could teach EVERYTHING, not like now when a teacher specializes in a certain subject. My father recalls a former teacher of his with great fondness, and said that she taught everything, from Music to Math to Science… “And she spoke impeccable English, too.”

We teachers-in-training today should take it as a challenge, to raise the bar once again and prove those who think the worst of us wrong.

Then there is the case of teachers going abroad to earn dollars. So many things have been written on this. For myself, I am fortunate to belong to a middle-class family (my sister and I will be the third generation of educators) so I do not think I will be forced to make the agonizing choice that Ms. Pilar (the teacher that Alessandra de Rossi’s character substituted for in the film) had to make: to leave the children she so dearly loved to teach in order to earn a better living abroad. And I would be the last one to stand on a pulpit and preach against the millions of OFW’s who more often than not are forced by circumstances to seek greener pastures abroad. I can only speak for myself when I promise that should I ever leave the Philippines, it will be only for a couple of years to further my studies. I will most definitely come back, because this country is my home and it has everything that I hold dear. My parents, being teachers, raised me with a strong patriotic sense of duty. I could not bear abandoning the Motherland, the country that nurtured and raised me, so that I could spend the most productive years of my life contributing to another country.

This movie has special meaning for me because I am training to become not just any teacher, but a music teacher, like Melinda (Alessandra de Rossi’s character). I felt so affirmed in my choice of vocation, because the movie clearly illustrated the power of music, of singing, to uplift spirits and brighten even the darkest and saddest of lives.

I could relate to this movie on so many levels, and I have seen firsthand the issues that Melinda took offense with (for example: teachers selling candies to students for extra cash… it DOES happen!). I did my classroom music teaching practicum last sem, and I had to teach in two schools: one private and one public. I was able to experience both worlds, and it was a very valuable experience for me. Now, when I say I want to be a teacher, I no longer say it with eyes closed. I have SEEN what it is to be a teacher, and I have had a taste (if only for a little while) of what a teacher’s life will be like. And I choose it gladly.

This is a film that every Filipino teacher-in-training should watch. It is not a movie for those seeking mindless entertainment. See it to understand that we aren’t just teachers. Henry Adams put it perfectly when he said, “A teacher affects eternity… he can never tell where his influence stops.” And that is why they say that “to teach is to touch lives forever.”