Half of the Christmas break is over, and I haven't done any of my academic requirements (namely: 2 exams to cram for in Math 2 and EDCO 101, 2 Kodaly lesson plans for MuEd 191, 1 Research Paper on Peak Oil for Env. Sci. 1... oh, the trivialities of an academic life). The past few days is one big blur of shopping, mall-hopping, eating and drinking to one's content, playing Chrismas songs on the piano, and in my spare time: reading.
This vacation, my reading list is cut out for me (many, many thanks to those who gifted me with precious tomes instead of trinkets and edible consumables!). Not all of them are light-reading. Take last night, for example. I finished Dostoevsky's THE BROTHERS KARAMAZOV (a beautiful edition at only 345 pesos in Power Books!) just before leaving for Christmas Eve mass, and was correspondingly morose and troubled for several hours after. If it weren't for the mass and our simple Christmas dinner of hot chocolate, ham, and bread and butter, I would have continued my philosophical contemplative state well into the wee hours of the morning. To call it "intellectually taxing" would be a huge understatement.
These days, it seems, my head is in the clouds more often that it is on the ground. I keep thinking about the "eternal questions," and I must make amends to my family for being more absent-minded than usual.
At the ripe old age of 21 (yes, my birthday is tomorrow), I still do not understand myself fully. I keep discovering a new aspect of my person, and am continuously amazed at my changeable nature.
Perhaps my sheltered life has something to do with it. I think I haven't gone through enough trials to form a noble character. In the words of Emily Dickinson:
Essential Oils -- are wrung --
The Attar from the Rose
Be not expressed by Suns -- alone --
It is the gift of Screws ...
More and more I believe that the self is not 'discovered,' but 'made,' and can be done so, willfully and purposefully, with God's grace.
Here's to another year of 'self-making' with His Light.
345 pesos?! isnt that book so THICK? i have yet to finish his Crime and Punishment... i think i dont like thick books. hahaha, happy birthday ate gabi :)
ReplyDeleteYup it's 700+ pages thick hahaha! worth it... ganda ng edition (Barnes & Noble classics).
ReplyDeleteI read his Crime & Punishment waaaay back in highschool... I don't think I was "ready," hehe, I remember only bits and pieces of it. I will reread it soon... after I finish "The Idiot" (haha it's a Dostoevsky phase! I remember, last year, I was in a Jane Austen phase)
I used to be intimidated by thick books also (thick as in WAR AND PEACE / encyclopedia thick)... which is why I haven't read any of the Russian authors. Until now.
Thanks for the birthday greeting, Mika! How'd you get my cel.no.? Anyway, I'm glad I have yours :) Mas magiging close tayo, Mika my friend
I'm totally like you right now, Gabi. Been doing the very same things and ignoring schoolwork. Wonderful. He he he!
ReplyDeleteApir tayo Kim! :) It's nice to know I'm not the only one neglecting my acads, bwahahaha!
ReplyDeleteWe still have a couple more days pa naman... Crammers, unite!
i asked keith for your #. :) yey! text text
ReplyDeletehahaha! Dostoevsky phase... back in high school, i was in an Edgar Allan Poe phase. really creepy! one of the reasons i liked Poe is because he writes SHORT stories. i have yet to develop the will power and attention span to read an epic novel. you know that feeling when you read a book, the feeling that you want to get the most out of it?
anyway... it's only really recently that i've wanted to gorge on books. i now really love books!
Amen, Gabi!
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