On Aristocracy and Vulgarity

Author Muriel Barbery once wrote: “What is an aristocrat? Someone who is never sullied by vulgarity, although she may be surrounded by it.”

As a young girl, I thought being an aristocrat involved material wealth. And so my six-year-old self gazed in rapture upon bejeweled matrons with earrings and fingers dripping with gold and jewels, closely shadowed by uniformed body guards and maids… thinking to myself that these were aristocrats going about their daily business in Makati.

As I grew older, I felt that aristocracy had more to do with wealth of the mind, of intellectual ability and “elevated” tastes in all things artistic, literal, mineral and vegetable. Going to U.P., I was surrounded by such aristocrats and felt so lucky and proud to walk amongst them on a daily basis. U.P. was and will always be that golden haven where my horizons were broadened, intellectually and spiritually. I learned never to judge people solely by what they wore, for that tambay with the mohawk, in a wife-beater sando and slippers might turn out to be your brilliant-if-a-bit-eccentric professor for the semester. At any given time in any class I was in, I’d be sitting with a high school valedictorian in front of me, a high school salutatorian beside me, and a genius-classmate-who-needed-no-notes-because-he-had-a-photographic-memory sat behind me. It was where I learned humility, and where I learned to accept the harsh reality that, no matter how awesome you think you are, there will always be someone better, brighter, prettier, younger, than you.

But it is only now that I am realizing that true aristocracy is a matter of virtue. And all of us are called to it… not to be elitist snobs, to sneer at the vulgar, pedestrian mass of humanity. But as a matter of morality, for the sake of our souls. Because He, the Utmost Aristocrat, gave no less than His life so that we may all be aristocrats for all eternity with Him.

Daily, we all face the all-too human temptation to resort to maliciousness and pettiness of thought and deed. I confess I, with my passionate and rash nature, am still only beginning at my lessons in self-control, even at my advanced age. It is SO easy to let slip that uncharitable comment, that unforgiving remark especially among family and friends. And though it might do no harm in the sense that, given the private audience, the malicious thought will never reach the ears of the one being spoken about… the harm HAS been done, to me. To my soul. For each unchristian thought or word has marred my character, and has probably left an ugly blemish that will take eons to cleanse. Where charity enlargens the soul, pettiness and malice crush it. But we must always remember that we are all called to goodness, to be great souls in a fallen world.

I used to think having the stomach for speaking strong angry words was a sign of strength. But now I realize it is NOT strength, but weakness, to let Malice control me even if only for a little while. And is it not harder to bite one’s tongue, both physically and mentally? For as I keep saying to my students, “Hatred is borne of ignorance.” I myself am guilty of perpetrating that ignorance whenever I let myself be ruled by hate, whenever I allow myself to think uncharitable thoughts that render what little virtues I have for naught.

And so I dream my little dream… when as a child I once dreamt of fame and fortune (either by writing the great Filipino novel of my generation or by capturing the hearts of audiences in La Scala with my rendition of Puccini’s Tosca), now it is this: to live in such a way that I bring even the tiniest bit of joy to my students, to add even some small amount of beauty to their lives by helping them see the glory in art, in poetry, in music… and perhaps, someday, when I am worthy of him, to be the helpmate to my future beloved and help make his life happier and easier.

“To live more nobly,” as Anne Shirley says… is this not a wonderful dream?

                …Not enjoyment, and not sorrow,

                Is our destined end or way;

                But to act, that each tomorrow

                Find us farther than today…

                … Lives of great men all remind us

                We can make our lives sublime,

                And, departing, leave behind us

                Footprints on the sands of time…”

We studied Longfellow’s majestic “Psalm of Life” in our Grade Six English class last week, and I thought the two verses quote above were quite splendid! And wouldn’t it be wonderful if the footprints we left behind, when we are gone, are hearts made happier, minds made clearer, souls left richer? Such is my prayer.